Polisicks

Damn, is that all we needed for this Stock Market?

FOX News is running a headline about the stocks soaring, recovering, or otherwise just doing well post-Obama’s selection of a Treasury selection.

Don’t know who the dude is, but I think it’s fair to assume that he has invested some dollars into stocks? Doesn’t really seem like he went way left with the selection, so I’m sure Hannity will claim the markets moved up because of that and it’s some kind of victory over communism. In other, more headline oriented news, Hillary Clinton has accepted the Secretary of State position.

Sen. Hillary Clinton has accepted the position of secretary of state in the Obama administration, FOX News has confirmed.

The formal announcement is expected after Thanksgiving.

How about we end the week on a question and then blame Acadia for the lack of comments that follow the question. Any guesses on the first Clinton related scandal that Obama tries to duck and run from? Sex with an intern is a little too obvious and if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll chalk that up to expected rather than scandal.

UPDATE: Fox News just showed a clip of Weekend at Bernie’s and had the headline of “Bailout Battle Brewing?” underneath…I’m not sure where they are going with this, but there is NO WAY I’m changing the channel. Could have been a clip from Bernie’s II, however, which would be a bit deflating, but still, I like where FOX News is heading with this, could a representative from the Murdoch industry send me a note to get me up to speed on this new direction?

Solving a crisis…

The economy is bad. Michigan has been leading the way in this regard. Recessions all over the place in Michigan and with the Big Three automakers struggling to convince folks of the necessity of this bailout, things could get worse, a lot worse, before they get better. But, Michiganders, be easy, because there are things to be happy about.

Michigan’s 55-52 win over No. 4 UCLA on Thursday night may have given a reprieve, for two hours at least, to a Wolverine State that has been gripped by melancholy due to a crumbling economy, the auto industry and the university’s highest-profile athletic program — a 3-8 football team that is headed for its worst season as it prepares for its rivalry game Saturday at Ohio State.

“Whether it was a need or not, I don’t know, but it really helps,” said second-year Michigan coach John Beilein. “We’re all following the [auto industry bailout] meetings in Washington.

“This is a very proud state and the auto industry is trying to fix itself. There are a lot of troubled people in Michigan and a lot of them have roots in the auto industry. I’m hoping a lot of people stayed up late to watch this game and went to bed with a smile on their face.”

You know, things aren’t that bad, baby, I know I lost my job and you’ve been looking real hard the past four months to get a job back, our investments, well, they are what they are, babe, we got to look forward forget all that, we can go to bed smiling tonight. Beilein and the gang, they’re going to solve this crisis. They’re going to take all the money they would spend on the players and put that money back into the economy. Now, I know they aren’t paying salaries like they used to when Chris Webber was around, but it’s still a  good bit of money. Maybe we can get some Healthcare with that, no? Ok, maybe not, but just watching them play I think we’re going to get through this. The way those Maize and Blue players came off those screens and popped out for those three pointers, it just made me forget that we have two kids that are a couple years off from college and I just…well, it’s never too late for them to learn how to shoot a jumpshot, right? Babe, we’re going to be alright.

Richardson a “serious contender” to be disappointed at his cabinet appointment

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson has emerged as a “serious contender” to head the Commerce Department under President-elect Barack Obama, according to a Democratic official close to the proceedings.

I hope he takes the job and then just starts talking about Secretary of State type stuff. Or, tells Obama to shove this lower cabinet appointment…maybe via an e-mail that he takes 15 seconds to type and then he hovers his finger over the send key debating that part of it for about five minutes. Takes a second to delete one of his expletives from the email, then sends it anyway. Walks away defiantly like he showed Obama who was boss on cabinet selections. Then two minutes later runs back to the computer trying to take his e-mail back, realizes he can’t so he just gets real loaded and drunk dials Obama tells him not to check his e-mails his wife left him so he’s on a bender, but will be ready to go by the time Commerce needs secretaring.

Or, you know, he just sucks up his pride and takes the post and works will with Hillary any chance he gets.

However, this whole selecting Richardson, Clinton and other Presidential candidates seems to just be a clever ruse to cover up that he has not picked a Treasury Secretary yet. When the media was clamoring for one of those weeks ago, we should have taken it as a sign that we would know everyone else in his cabinet first.

Wait, even Pelosi isn’t eager to give the Automakers money?

Instead, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.) ordered General Motors, Chrysler and Ford to submit detailed proposals by Dec. 2 explaining how an emergency infusion of government cash could put them on a path to financial health.

“It is all about accountability and viability,” Pelosi said at a news conference with Reid and other House and Senate leaders. “Until they show us the plan, we cannot show them the money.”

I thought they just had to show up and Pelosi was just going to give them straight sacks of cash. Just stuffing dollar bills into pant pockets and suitcases. This is very unexpected, Reid and Pelosi were supposed to be out of control with their power. Should I put the private jet flight to DC to ask for bailout funds for this blog? That’s very dissapointing.

Oh, nevermind, they just wanted to get out of town before Thanksgiving. That’s why she was talking all tough about accountability and what not. Last sound byte for a couple of days.

Emanuel meets with GOP, no one stabbed

(CNN) — Rep. Rahm Emanuel, President-elect Barack Obama’s future chief of staff, met with Republican leaders on the Hill Thursday, saying “We welcome their ideas and their concepts.”

What he did not say is that he wants them all in paper form so that he can shred the shit out of them like ten seconds after they reach his desk.

WASHINGTON (CNN) – The Republican Party has hit a new low.

Just 34 percent of Americans in a Gallup Poll released Thursday say they have a favorable view of the party, down 40 percent from a month ago, before the election.

What’s worse: 61 percent of Americans have an unfavorable view of the Republican Party.

So, at this point, it might not be a bad idea to kick those GOP ideas to the side? I mean, I don’t see Rahm-Bo giving a damn about the GOP much to begin with, with 61% not giving a damn about them? If the public doesn’t care much for the party, what are the chances the Obama Administration is going to pay anything more than just lip service to the party? Republicans in Congress might want to just settle for being able to get a tee time with Rahm…Even then, Rahm’s going to play 9 attached more to his blackberry than the links and bail on the back nine because he doesn’t give a damn what you think.

Obama won’t get his hand shook…

A confounding and perhaps divinely inspired Inauguration Day tradition is coming to an end: Handshake Man says he can’t make it to the celebration Jan. 20.

President-elect Barack Obama will miss that special greeting experienced by Bill Clinton at his second inauguration and George W. Bush at his first: An overcoated, entirely normal-looking man, whose only security clearance is his beatific smile, steps from the crowd after the swearing-in. He offers the new commander in chief a handshake, a medallion and a message from God.

The Rev. Richard C. “Rich” Weaver — dubbed Handshake Man by followers of his exploits — has been Washington’s most famous uninvited guest.

Apparently this guys answer when asked how Secret Service misses him is, “It’s just God, buddy.” According to the Washington Post article, his decision not to greet Obama this year has something to do with a combination of God disliking Obama (”The glory of the Lord has departed from the Democratic Party,” Weaver says) and being banned (He was barred from trying to attend presidential events or entering the Capitol and White House grounds for five years).

The shame in this is that there are only 11…

Minnesota Public Radio has a page up of disputed ballots from the Franken/Coleman recount. In the picture to the left there, you can see fairly clearly that some dude was trying to cross out Franken’s name. They screwed up, honest mistake and what not, and instead of asking for another ballot (which I assume, but don’t know, you can do), he just tries to cover his tracks with his pen. A fairly good job, I would say. Cast that vote for Coleman if you’re looking at it.

However, the Franken camp argues otherwise. The Franken camp says that this voter was “underlining Al,” thus, making it clear that he was voting for Stuart Smalley. Yeah, not really.

In another challenge, Franken decided that because his name was bubbled in and erased, the person intended to vote for Franken. Interesting argument, except that the name of Dean Barkley was clearly bubbled in. The Coleman camp challenged a Franken ballot because there was a small dot next to Dean Barkley. Again, solid point, except that Franken had his bubble filled in completely. One ballot had both Franken and Coleman bubbled in…but next to Coleman they wrote NO, so I think that covers it.

The best of these, however, was one involving a thumb print by Ralph Nader’s name in a vote for McCain (and presumably Coleman, but now shown). Dude got some ink on his thumb, gripped the ballot and left a mark. There is not an argument over the voter’s intent, it would appear. Do not let that stop Stuart Smalley, though.

The Franken campaign challenged this Anoka County ballot, arguing that the thumb print on it constitutes a distinguishing mark. If a voter signs a ballot or writes his Social Security Number on it, that ballot is invalid under Minnesota state law. The State Canvassing Board will need to determine whether this thumbprint has the same effect.

I know he is desperate, but DAMN.

The damn shame in all this is that there are only 11. I think if they made a 300 page disputed ballot book I would read it and rarely put it down. Granted, there are only so many ways one can mess up a ballot, but there are soooooooooo many ways that a politician and his lawyers can make a hilariously dumb argument in their favor.

For the record, on these I went: Franken, Coleman, None, Franken, Lizard People, None (unless this voter places checkmarks throughout and circles the square next to it, even then probably just toss it), Coleman, Franken, Barkley, Barkley, Coleman. Feel free to head to the page and play along or argue with my results in the comments.

(From Minnesota Public Radio, via Wonkette)

67% of the Country born yesterday…

Even with all the challenges facing the new administration, fully two-thirds of voters (67%) expect Obama to have a successful first term, while only 22% think the new president will be unsuccessful.

Either they aren’t paying attention or have this weird definition of success that I want to be a part of. Not to sound like Joe the Plumber, but we’re going to have success in the next four years in spite of who the politicians are. Been like that for years, right? A poll this time 4 years ago showed that 61% thought GW would be successful, so I guess we’re just optimistic by nature?

Either that, or, just want to set these suckers up for failure. Raise the bar of expectations high and then BOOM BITCH, tell ‘em they ain’t nothing when they fail to live up to those expectations.

I might have to hit the soup kitchen with my high-hat on…

“There’s a delicious irony in seeing private luxury jets flying into Washington, D.C., and people coming off of them with tin cups in their hands,” Rep. Gary L. Ackerman (D-N.Y.) advised the pampered executives at a hearing yesterday. “It’s almost like seeing a guy show up at the soup kitchen in high-hat and tuxedo. . . . I mean, couldn’t you all have downgraded to first class or jet-pooled or something to get here?”

The heads of GM, Chrysler, Ford, flew into Washington D.C. from Detroit separately. And in Private Jets. One day, just one flight, even. You can take the private jet back and maybe get away with it. But, to get there? Not too wise.

Obviously the cost of flying the private jets to D.C. is a drop in the bucket compared to the dollars that the Big Three are asking for. But, the point is, you’re asking for money. Please, show folks, at least slightly, that you can be cost conscious. I mean, it’s a little game them folks in DC play and apparently the car folks are too arrogant to shuffle up and get involved. See, if you show up as cheaply as possible, they can spin that to the public like you connect with them or some bullshit. Now, you left them with nowhere to go. You might still get your money, but you give them less ways where they can spin it in their favor. Now, Congress has to rely on the “our economy would be too fucked if we didn’t.”

But, I’m sure they’re OK with that.

Been around the world and i i i
And we been playa hated [say what?]
I don’t know and i don’t know why
Why they want us faded [ahehe]
I don’t know why they hate us [yeah]
Is it our ladies? [uh-huh]
Or our drop mercedes [uhh, uhh]
Bay-bee bay-bee!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhh

(Guest commentator in here today to speak about the Pirate Situation in Somalia.)

Avast! Ye sit back upon your bottom and hear thy tale of a grand skiff of oil taken by lads lookin’ to indeed be rich with wealths beyond any imaginations! Ne’er have I thought the day would come where that Rupert Murdoch turns his sights upon these Gentlemen O’ Fortune, fer me lads have made name for thyself in the perfidious seas off the Coasts of Somalia.

Thy lads be takin’ t’battle to scallywags ‘n bringin’ great, grand booty to thyselves. Aye, they be lookin’ upon that tanker of crude and say, “C’mere, me buxom beauty, we be a claimin’ your booty now.” Any lads upon that tanker were best serviced sailin’ away for when these lads enter thy ship of tarren greases they come a’fightin’ ya better belie’e. Raise the Jolly Roger as they ha’e taken yer ship aplenty.

Pay thy ransom to these Gentlemen ‘fore they get out o’ hand. Put thy doubloons in they hands and you be’ gettin’ your oils back. Then t’Gentlemen be dipping and ducking back into t’vast and cavernous habitats of Africas. These Buccaneers be answerin’ to no man, no go’erment, ‘n be back in short time t’claim ever more bounties. Yer Seas ha’e been taken ‘n oils scourged. You best be addin’ protections in t’seas else yer whole world shall be bounty to t’pirate!